A life lesson from swimming lessons.

My two year old daughter, Evelyn, has always seemed to be very fond of the water. My husband will use the shower sprayer in the bath and spray her face and she will laugh as water is filling up in her eyes and getting in her mouth  and nose. She just loves the water. We spent a lot of time this summer at the pool and she would just in and play and go under water and kick her feet and blow bubbles. I was so proud of her. I thought, "I should get her into some swim lessons and she will for sure love them and become a more excellent swimmer." So a couple of weeks ago, I signed her up for the lessons. When we got to the pool, she started telling me that she didn't want to go to the lessons. I just thought...hey, she's fine...she loves the water and there will be no problem. The instructor tells Evelyn to get in and that's when it started. Evelyn acted like she had never even seen water in her life let alone did she think she would be comfortable having it touch her body. She started crying and screaming. My blood pressure started to rise and I felt an anger rise up in me...maybe because I felt embarrassed or confused. She was better than this. I knew she could frolic in the water and do much more than I saw or didn't see her do in that swim lesson. I was DISAPPOINTED. Part of me had felt pride most of the summer because my little two year old daughter had such a knack for the water. I got upset with her and withheld grace from her. My disappointment and embarrassment got in the way of my love for her. Today, we had a swim lesson again. I have been preparing her all week for this lesson. I told her to try her hardest and have fun. She did cry a little in the beginning of the class, but by the end, she was laughing and playing. My life lesson here is that we have expectations for ourselves and children and when they don't reach those expectations, we can get angry or frustrated. In the end, we have to have a ready hand of grace to extend. Each day and sometimes each minute I have to consciously choose grace instead of anger or frustration. Choose grace.

Cancer Cure?

When I was in fourth grade, there was a girl in the class next to mine who was diagnosed with cancer. She was blasted with harsh toxic chemicals and radiation that was to rid her small young body of cancer. She ended up losing her leg due to cancer that year, along with her dark brown curly hair and eyebrows. She lived just down the street from me. I was just amazed by her life and persistence and will to live. As the years past, I have lost my grandma to cancer and have known people directly who have been affected by this disease. What if there was a cure? What if the there was something that could cure most cancers without the person being pumped full of toxic chemicals that in it and of themselves could cause more cancer in the body? 

My husband and I like to watch documentaries together. He kind of got me started on watching them. I would sometimes just prefer reading instead, but he lured me into watching this particular one. As I watched this documentary it struck me with questions, doubts, and hope all in the same instant. I couldn't believe my eyes and ears. Could this really be true? Here's a few cancer statistics: Based on statistics from the American Cancer Society, in 2011 there are expected to be 1.5 million new cases of cancer and more than 1,500 people a day are expected to die of cancer. The National Institutes of Health estimates the overall costs of cancer for 2010 at $263.8 billion! It's difficult to know what the survival rate is of cancer due to the various types of cancer. Based on the American Cancer Society, cancer is the second leading cause of death preceded by heart disease. I am not stating these statistics to be a pessimist but to hammer in my point. All this to say, if so much money is used for cancer research and treatment, why isn't it working?

There is a clinic in Texas called the Burzynski Clinic. As of now, he has to keep his work and treatment solely in Texas. In the 70's Burzynski created a unique and natural cancer treatment. Burzynski's treatment is called antineoplastons. This treatment stops the cancer cells from surviving. The amazing thing about his treatment is that there are not any ill side-effects because it is a natural treatment! 

Based on info. from the documentary, the government tried to steal Burzynski's patent for antineoplastons several times but were unsuccessful. If his treatment got out and was predominately used in cancer treatment centers, what would happen to the multi-billion dollar chemotherapy business? They would most likely go out of business! Isn't that what we want and have prayed for? A cure? It seems like "the cure" is available. Why are we standing by and looking at it like it like it is out of reach? We have to stand up against the money hungry hands and get the word out there!!! There is a better way...a different but not perfect way...but there is A CURE!

Asher's Birth Story

Laboring on my feet (1 hour before Asher was born)

Mommy and her little boy

I am watching my now seven week old baby sleeping and as I do, I am reflecting on the miracle of life and birth. When I got pregnant with Asher, I was in denial. I didn't think that I was really pregnant until I took about five pregnancy tests and got an ultrasound to see that there was really a baby living and growing within me. As the pregnancy progressed, thoughts tried to creep into my mind that I would have the same disease of pregnancy that I had with Evelyn, our daughter. I was told that if you have it with one pregnancy, you could get it with next. It was called cholestasis. In short, this disease could cause the umbilical cord to spasm and break off from the baby and therefore cause a stillbirth. My husband and I prayed and trusted that God was going to take care of this baby just like He had taken care of Evelyn. During the waiting time, I had gotten a passion to have a natural unmedicated birth. Josh and I had studied the Bradley Method of natural birth and we had watched a couple of documentaries about birth in America and natural birth. For reasons of our own personal conviction and desire, we decided that we would pursue an unmedicated birth and work together as a team to try to accomplish this goal. Personally, I didn't really know if I could do it. I had it in my mind that I wasn't going to get myself down and discouraged if I didn't accomplish this goal because I knew that if I had cholestasis, it may not work as well to have a natural unmedicated birth. As the time approached for me to see if I had cholestasis, I anxiously awaited the results. I had a clean bill of health and the desire to bring this baby into the world naturally seemed to be the way to go for us as long as everything went smoothly during my labor.
As the last few weeks of pregnancy approached, I started having contractions fairly regularly. I didn't really think much of them because they were not painful for the most part. They were just kind of annoying. One evening, about two weeks before my due date, I thought I was going into labor. I started having contractions about five to seven minutes apart for over two hours. I called my husband who was at his softball game to come home and be with me. I started getting really excited thinking that our son would be born that evening. To my astonishment, it wasn't the night that he would be born. The contractions subsided and I slept that whole night through. That was a bummer for me, but it just was not the time that God would have him to be born. The next week my parents would get here to Arizona from Illinois to come and help out after the baby was born. They got here on Wednesday, July 20. I had some contractions that morning but it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. I normally had contractions on and off for the past two weeks. I had a doctor's appointment the day before and my doctor said that if I was having any contractions, that I should come into the hospital. So when my parents got here, I debated on whether or not I should go in to the hospital. My doctor was only at the hospital on Wednesday's and I really wanted her to deliver our baby. So around 2PM, Josh and I leave my parents to rest at home and watch Evelyn. I personally didn't think that I would be admitted to the hospital because I didn't even feel like I was in labor. I went to triage and they put a monitor around my belly to check my contractions. To my amazement, I was having contractions about five to seven minutes apart! They decided to check me into the labor and delivery unit! I was at about 6cm dilated and 90% effaced. Even though they said that I could go up to L&D, there was a bit of a wait due to many people having babies that day. My nurse in triage came into our room and had some sad news for me. He said that my doctor was leaving and she would not be able to deliver my baby. I felt so discouraged and I wasn't feeling very positive about another doctor delivering my baby. I started to feel overwhelmed and started crying. I felt like I wasn't ready to have another baby and I felt alone because the doctor who had been there for me for all my prenatal appointments was not going to be there for me for the most important time-the birth of my baby. Josh was there to talk with me and comfort me. I started to feel better and trust that God obviously had a different plan. They finally had an opening in L&D at around 5:30PM. I was so grateful. This was it. I was going to have this baby tonight or atleast by morning. But I didn't realize that this was the beginning of the whirlwind of an evening. When I got to the L&D floor, I looked around and to my greatest surprise, I saw my doctor! I was told that she had left, but she was there! I looked at her and she at me and I started crying happy tears. She ended up not having to leave as we had thought and was going to be there with me! My nurse came in to greet me and I told her of our desire to have an unmedicated birth and I handed her my birth plan. She was very nice and supportive of my requests. My doctor came in and told me that she would rupture my amniotic sac.She broke my water at 6:17PM and I started to have a bit more contractions, but nothing too strong at that point. I started walking around the room and listening to my music playlist and Josh and I practiced some natural pain relief methods we had learned. At about 7PM, I started having more intense contractions and had to concentrate and have focused breathing to get through the contractions. Then all of the sudden, I felt like I needed to have a bowel movement. I seriously thought that I needed "to go," because it had not been but an hour since I was in labor and I didn't think I was already in the transition phase. So, I sat and rocked on the toilet and continued to have intense contractions. I felt like something wasn't quite right and I thought it was weird that I felt like I really needed to push. I yelled for Josh to get the nurse. She came in and told me to get in the bed to check me. I was hesitate to go to the bed because I didn't know if I could even walk over there from the bathroom. A contraction subsided and I made it to the bed before the next wave of contractions hit. Then all of the sudden, I had such an overwhelmingly huge contraction and I start yelling and telling the nurse that I need to push. I felt like I couldn't do this labor thing anymore. It hurt so bad and I just wanted some relief.  She told me to wait in an urgent voice. She had not set up the room yet for the delivery. I couldn't help it. My body was telling me and urging me with push. There was nothing I could do to stop it. The nurse quickly tried to prepare the bed for delivery. Then I pushed two times. It was such a relief. Pushing out my baby was relieving my body from the contractions. It actually felt liberating to push out my baby. Then Asher William McLeod was born into this world at 7:27PM weighing 8 lbs 11 oz and 20.5 inches long, just a little over an hour after I started laboring! My doctor never made it back to the room in time, so my nurse ended up delivering Asher. He was beautiful and I felt so proud and thankful to birth my son and birth him without medication. It was due to the prayers of my friends and family that I was able to have such a great testimony of the birth of our son. I am so thankful to God for Asher and the blessing that he is. His name means "happy and blessed." That is what I truly am!

my own "little world"

I woke up this morning to a baby crying and the sun just starting to peak out of the eastern sky. I peeled my eyes open and my mind started immediately erasing the dreams that I had that night and early into the morning. I go into my 7 week old son's room and greet him with a half smile and pick him up. He nuzzles his warm face into my neck. He smells of a sweet newborn sweat. My body is trying to keep from falling asleep as I rock and nurse my son. Morning seems to come too soon but I am happy that it is here.My daughter gradually wakes up. My day with my children has begun. This is my "little world."